A Mile In Their Shoes

Harper Lee wrote in "To Kill a Mockingbird", "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." We've all heard that you can't truly know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. . . .well, this technique is another figurative exploration in working with the energy of our prospects.

We are going to learn to climb into the skin of our prospects, experience them, their affluence, their decision making mechanisms, their emotional states-so that we can better give them what they need and get what we need.

When we consciously decide to "step inside" our prospects or clients or other than conscious minds make up patterns and make connections on our behalf. We are goal seeking mechanisms and the goal here is to be able to formulate what we are going to experience.

This is all about imagination. The way I do it is I look at my prospect and I jump in, simply imagining. My unconscious has already created a map, constructed a model of who this person is and I simply begin to mirror and model powerfully creating an instant rapport.

Is it real? I don't know. I don't really care. It's a mental construct. I am making it up in my mind. I'm making up that I'm now in your body looking through your eyes.

Another option, one that I've had students tell me about, is building a picture the person you're 'becoming', then you turn around so you're facing the same way I am and just step in. This can be thought of as mirroring.

This is one of the fastest ways of gaining rapport I have ever seen or used and specifically when we're working with the affluent, if say, we are not as wealthy as we expect we will be yet, this is a really powerful simulation.

What if you work with people on the phone and you have no idea what they look like? Could you do the same thing anyway? Sure. What is it that you know about that person when you're talking to them? They've got a phone to their ear, and they've got a voice, and their voice has characteristics, and those characteristics have conditions that your unconscious mind has seen before.

Using personality traits as an example, we see that there are a finite number patterns that exist. If we chunk up, and put it into a system, like the twelve astrological signs, we can fit those traits into those categories, depending on the system you're working with. There are all sorts of frames and ways to classify, limiting the potential combinations.

Of course, humans are infinite. However, wouldn't it be interesting to know that your unconscious, in its vast experience of dealing with all the people it has dealt with, has come across most all of the major patterns and major characteristics of the people that you're dealing with? It knows what that other person can be like. Could you build an image of that person? Sure you can, you absolutely can, and you can step right in, even if you're just on the phone.

This is a construct. We are constructing an image. Will it be accurate? Not exactly, but that's okay, because if we're in front of them, and we're hearing them and we're seeing them, and if they're moving, we keep changing our construct until it's identical to what they are, so for every minute, every second that goes by, ours gets better, and more complete and more powerful, and we're locking right in to that person.

Here are a few things to ask yourself once you've stepped into their skin: What are their physical characteristics? How does it feel to have those characteristics? Notice when you step into the other person, where you feel the connection to them. Do you feel the connection in your stomach, in your feet, in your hands, in your chest, in your head? Where do you feel the connection? By asking yourself these questions you'll deepen the rapport.

One word of warning: don't try this if the person is sick or if they have something wrong with them. Sometimes being that empathetic can also make you sick.

Even if you're not someone who feels particularly in touch with 'energy', this technique can still be used with great results.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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