An Exercise In Rapport: Trying On Someone Else's Skin

Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." And we've all heard the saying, you can't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This exercise is a way to figuratively step into someone else's shoes, into their skin, and create instant rapport and understanding.

We are going to learn to climb into the skin of our prospects, experience them, their affluence, their decision making mechanisms, their emotional states-so that we can better give them what they need and get what we need.

The other than conscious mind is a goal seeking mechanism. We have strong pattern recognition software already at our disposal. We are able to pick up characteristics of others so that when we "step inside" of them, we've already formulated an experience of them.

We can jump into another's skin by imagining yourself as them. Let your other than conscious recognize the pattern of them, understand your pattern, and blend the two.

Many of my students ask, 'Is this real?' Well. . . I don't know. And really, I don't care. It's a mental construct. I know that for sure. And I am making it up in my mind that I'm in your body looking out through your eyes. . .

This is the fastest way of gaining rapport I've ever experienced. Specifically, if we're working with affluent clients, this works phenomenally especially if we're not as wealthy as we'd like to be.

If we assume that there is a finite number of patterns that exist, and if we chunk up a little bit, go to a bigger level, we can say, for example, there are twelve astrological signs. There are seven major personality types, depending on the system that you're working with. There are all sorts of different classification systems that will seek to limit the number of possible combinations.

All of these constructs are speculation. They may not be accurate, but because we are with the person we're attempting to persuade, we are also able to instantly change as we understand more and more of them. We're capable of 'correcting' our image of them and changing our strategies fluidly.

As you step into your client, leave yourself behind. See through their eyes. This allows you to move along the process of rapport on a very deep level. You are so completely identifying with their behaviors and all of who they are.

One way you can make this more powerful, more tangible, is to "feel" what their clothes feel like. If the person is of the opposite sex, you might feel what their gender feels like and actually take on a few of those characteristics.

What are their physical characteristics? How does it feel to have those characteristics? Notice when you step into the other person, where you feel the connection to them. Do you feel the connection in your stomach, in your feet, in your hands, in your chest, in your head? Where do you feel the connection? By asking yourself these questions you'll deepen the rapport.

Before trying this, here's something to keep in mind: if the person's sick, if they have something considerably wrong with them, if you know that they're not a particularly good person or they are someone you just don't like, you might not choose to use this level of rapport, because you may not be able to shake it all the way off.

This is a powerful tool for rapport and even if you aren't someone who is in touch with "energy", you can use this to your advantage in all your persuasion activities.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies. You are welcome to reprint this article - but get your own unique content version here.

Comments

No comments posted.

You do not have permission to comment. If you log in, you may be able to comment.

Complete the details below to send a link to the page:
http://uniquebusinessarticles.com/sales/an-exercise-in-rapport-trying-on-someone-else-s-skin.html