On the Contrary: How To Deal With a Polarity Responder

What's a polarity responder? We've all had dealings with them. They are someone who no matter what the situation, statement or issue at hand, has to respond in opposition. 'It's a beautiful day.'

Polarity responder: 'It's too hot. And there isn't enough shade.'

Polarity responders are easy to spot and they're incredibly fun to deal with. I give them something to respond to that's to my advantage.

The next time you're eliciting criteria, look for the words 'different' or 'difference'. Polarity responders will use these often. They are incredibly 'difference' oriented, as in they will always see things the opposite of you in most or all matters.

Let's say that they're disruptive with you like this, you might just tell a polarity responder, 'Would you do me a favor?' PR: 'Yeah, sure. What can I do for you?'

'Only if you want to, you don't have to, obviously. I don't want to put you out.'

PR: 'No. What is it? What is it?'

'Okay, what I wanted to ask you is, would you listen closely to what's going on and if you hear that I've ever said something that isn't quite in keeping with what you think should be going on here, would you bring it to my attention right away?'

PR: 'Certainly. But what you're saying is great. You really know your stuff.'

'Well, I know, but I know you're going to find something so I want you just to bring it to my attention.'

This is a trap. If the polarity responder finds something wrong with your presentation and bring it to your attention, then they have done precisely what you asked them to do. If they don't bring it to your attention, then they haven't been contrary with you. Either way, you win. This keeps them from going into their normal response mechanism. Then they try to listen really closely so they can come up with something for you.

PR: 'Well, you know, you said this and I was curious why.'

'Well, that's really important. I knew there was no way you couldn't bring that up so I'm really glad you did.'

Well now, are they going to bring up the next thing? No. Because they're going to fear that you're going to say, 'I knew you were going to bring that up too' and that pisses them off. They can't stay in their polarity response so they just go forget it.

Utilizing patterns to your advantage is the key to persuasion and this is a really easy one to counteract. In this situation, my intention is to diffuse their pattern so it doesn't obstruct anyone else either.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques. Click here to get your own unique version of this article.

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