softening language

I'm curious about something and I wonder if you wouldn't mind clearing it up. . .

Just so I'm absolutely clear. . .

Absolutely. Fantastic. And just so that I'm perfectly clear and understanding you completely . . .

What do all these things have in common? Well, they are icing on the cake of our persuasion abilities, in essence. We have learned to elicit criteria and create a deep rapport with our prospects and clients. Now, by adding these phrases to our conversation, we are polishing the silver, so to speak, making the conversation elegant and creative giving more expression to our persuasion abilities.

Softening statements and questions are just that. When we elicit criteria, the basic structure is, 'What's important about X? What's important about Y? And ultimately, what's important about Z?'

I recommend being comfortable with the basic structure of criteria elicitation and then moving on to the softening statements. No sense confusing the process. However, once you feel an ease with your ability, adding these phrases becomes natural and adds to the persuasion by soothing and comforting your prospects.

'I'm just curious, tell me, what's important to you about finding a new real estate agent to represent you?'

'Well,' says our prospect, 'I'm just not feeling comfortable with my current advisor and I'm looking for a change.'

'Absolutely. Fantastic. That makes really good sense. And just so I'm completely understanding you, what's important about feeling comfortable with your current person?'

'Well, I just really want to feel secure in knowing that I'm taken care of and that my best interests are being looked after, and I'm just not finding that to be the case right now.'

'Absolutely. I understand completely. And just so I am crystal clear on this, when you find that safe and secure feeling that you're being taken care of, what will that mean to you?'

'It will mean I don't have to worry about my family or our financial future.'

Softening statements/questions put the prospect at ease. They show that we're really, truly understanding and in compliance with our client's needs and desires.

Persuasion, to me, is a lot like being a musician. We learn the fundamentals, the theory, do the exercises, practice, and then when we get the piece down, we can add to it our own special flourishes and improvisation. This combination creates a beautiful symphony that is hard to resist.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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