Structure Your Reality

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits

Reality has to do as much with the structure that is defined as it does with the assumptions that we make about that structure. Huh? Read that sentence a few more times. It will really make an impact.

Reality is made up as much with the structure that's defined as it does with the assumptions we make about that structure.

The idea behind this one sentence, if you can understand it and put it to use, will skyrocket your ability to persuade as it begins to come out into your behaviors and language.

That statement is even truer when it comes to words and what they imply or presuppose. I want to give you now a two part major persuasion truism. This has formed the basis of my work for many, many years, clear back before I could even articulate it. And that is: People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions.

This is important so I'm going to say it again: People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions.

It's possible to persuade by telling someone something and having them believe you. The real power, however, is in having them conclude on their own what you want them to conclude. That is going to become a very solid belief for them. The second part of this truism is that they will form their conclusions as much from what you don't say, as from what you do.

This is worth reading over and over and memorizing: People might believe what they are told, but they will always believe their own conclusions and they will form those conclusions as much from what you don't say, as what you do.

A major key then is to learn how to structure what you say such that what you don't say communicates more powerfully than what you do say and makes people come to the conclusion that you want them to have on their own.

The following example falls into a linguistic category called Spoonerisms which illustrate the idea that people might believe what they are told but they will always believe their own conclusions. A Spoonerism may be thought of as a 'slip of the tongue' but often they're a play on words. The example of 'Go and shake a tower' might be a funny and more subtle way of telling someone they stink. When you hear 'go and shake a tower' your brain (most likely) will automatically fill in the statement with, 'Go and take a shower.'

When 'shake a tower' gets changed to 'take a shower' in your brain, it is all your brain's own doing. I have nothing to do with that. It's your brain's way of making sense of what you're hearing.

However, you had to hear the opposite, you had to hear that, and you did it on your own. And that's what I'm saying when I say people might believe what you tell them but they will always believe their own conclusions and they will form those conclusions as much from what you don't say as what you do.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

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