The Forbidden As Persuasion

'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer

It all started with that damn apple tree in the Garden of Eden. The only thing Adam and Eve were asked NOT to touch, and sure enough, that's the one thing they wanted most.

Fast forward to today--taxicab confessions, the circus atmosphere of talk show, Scull and Bones and other secret societies, websites with hidden cameras, underage drinking-it's all about exclusivity and secrets.

To see just how powerful the forbidden is, just look at the TV show that catches online predators. This show wasn't a one-time special; there are nearly a dozen episodes. The show is a hidden camera type situation where an online sexual predator looking for under-aged victims is set up (some would say 'entrapped'). The craziest part: nearly each and every one of the men caught in the later episodes, says, 'I knew it. I thought, I'll bet this is a trap. I'll bet this is that show.'

And yet, the guy went through with the date even having had the intuition that it was a trap. They'd go through with it despite the public humiliation, possible prison time and personal devastation.Why!?! How is this possible?

(Obviously this example is not just about the forbidden, but about a baser human instinct which we'll explore in a later article.)

The forbidden is a desire to know more. There is a story in the Bible of the tower of Babel where man tried to build a tower so high as to reach God and know what God knows. The tower was destroyed and all of their tongues were mixed up so that they couldn't understand each other and work in concert to build up because only God knows what God knows.

What about the forbidden intrigues? How can we use the innate human instinct of desiring to know the unknowable and to be in on the secret, to sell more effectively?

We may not always be able to get to the full blown forbidden, but we can sure get to the hidden and we can sure get there through secrets.

By telling people your secrets, you also get a chance to learn theirs. Here's the strategy. Simply tell somebody, 'Hey, by the way, let me just share this with you. I don't tell this to everybody, but here's a secret,' or 'Let me share with you something really personal about my life. I feel like I can trust you enough to say this. . .'

Telling our prospects secrets, even secrets that aren't super profound, it tends to show that we trust them and the 'law of reciprocity' says that they will respond in kind by trusting us.

In his book, "The Psychology of Persuasion", Robert Cialdini, explains, "One of the most potent of the weapons of influence around us is the rule for reciprocation. The rule says that we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us."

In other words, secrets will get someone to hear you and accept you and then share back with you. And what does that mean? Well, there's rapport. There's trust. There's belief.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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