To Be (sneaky) Or Not To Be (sneaky)

A student of mine posted a comment on my blog recently. She noticed I used an example of a presupposition with the relationship between a teacher and student and suggested that maybe I was being sneaky using the example, as if my intention was to persuade her.

This has been a struggle for me. When people find out that I am an expert in persuasion, they think that I am using my skills on them and they become very guarded and defensive. People actually say, 'It's hard to trust that he's not trying to persuade me, because, after all, he's one of the top persuaders in the world.'

I've gotten used to this sort of thing, though at first I'll admit it upset me. People will believe what they want to believe.

I operate from a place of integrity and I'm just genuinely myself at all time. It has been a struggle to remain un-jaded. I tend not to have ulterior motives.

But what is the definition of an ulterior motive? Ulterior lies beyond what is apparent, beyond what is obvious and evident and avowed. This can be seen as negative, especially if the motive is concealed in order to deceive. Ulterior motives don't have to be sneaky.

When an ulterior motive is supportive, I have no problem with that. An ulterior motive, in a sense, is behind the scenes. If I were to use skills to help people to stay involved with me, provided that I'm really giving them value, I find no problem with that whatsoever.

For my suspicious student, I would suggest that people find I'm providing value regardless of me attempting to install it or not. And you'll find the same is true for you.

It is kind of a humorous topic so I thought I would show you a little bit about the inside workings of my mind, how I've dealt with some of those kind of things and how it affects me.

Early in my persuasion training, I would ask the people I was studying with if they were using their persuasion skills on me. I asked them to see how they were making their decisions.

This doesn't mean that I am attempting to persuade my students actively, though my intention, obviously, is to keep them in my program.

These are my intentions. And my intention is to help and help and help some more. As long as that is recognized then I feel really satisfied and I think this is something you might want to examine in your own life because it will be something that comes up from time to time and it's nice to have thought it through so that you know where you stand on it.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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