Towards And Away: The 'away' Perspective

Before I get into the 'away' perspective in the towards/away continuum, I want to make a distinction between a truly negative personality and a person who is inclined towards moving away from a problem.

'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.' It's one of those things adults say to kids all the time. But I'm of the opinion that not everything has to be nice. Putting a happy face on each and every disappointment, not allowing for the lows in life, takes away from the complexity of experience. I'm not suggesting to not have a good attitude when bad things happen, but life is made up of ups and downs and to deny the downs, cuts us off from feeling how good the ups can feel with something to contrast it to.

However, it is quite difficult to be around people who complain nonstop. When someone around us views the world through inconvenience and misery, it brings us down, especially if we are with them for long stretches of time or on a daily basis. We become depleted trying to combat the negativity.

I am of the opinion that I'd rather have people be honest and accurate, and whether it is positive or negative is beside the point.

With that said, the 'towards and away' continuum is a filter that some (not all) people use when describing their circumstances in a particular context.

Say you've elicited your client or prospect's highest criteria and it turns out to be security. And you say, 'So ultimately, what will having security do for you?'

Now, security is a value that can be either towards or away, so you've got to listen very closely to the answer to this question to determine their direction.

'Financial security will mean that I'm finally safe. I won't have to worry about my investments, I won't have to worry about my family, I'll be able to retire when I want.'

Is this a toward solution or a movement away from a problem?

This is definitely an away from answer.

I liken the approach to take with away from people as 'backing the ambulance up to the door.' We want to really get them into their fear, like rubbing salt in a wound or poking at a sore tooth. Help them to wallow in this fear and then show them how your product or service equals what they want: financial security.

An appropriate away from response would be, 'You bet. Exactly. It's absolutely understandable that you'd feel terrified. The market is a dangerous place right now. People are going to lose fortunes. Having no alternate plan, no parachute, is going to ruin many lives. My clients, however, have moved beyond that fear as they work with me, and are, as a result, safe and secure.'

Determination of towards/away enriches rapport immeasurably. Forcing an away from oriented person to see the silver lining or look through rose colored glasses will put them off and make persuasion very difficult. Just go along with them and bask in the fear and horror that you can eventually relieve them of.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches strategies to earn the business of wealthy prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion strategies.

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