Trying On Someone Else's Skin

Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." And we've all heard the saying, you can't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This exercise is a way to figuratively step into someone else's shoes, into their skin, and create instant rapport and understanding.

As we step into the skin of our prospects, we experience them and their affluence, their decision making strategies and emotional states. We can then give them exactly what they need.

The other than conscious mind is a goal seeking mechanism. We have strong pattern recognition software already at our disposal. We are able to pick up characteristics of others so that when we "step inside" of them, we've already formulated an experience of them.

How are we going to do this? The way I do it is I just look at you and jump in. I imagine in my mind that I am now you looking at me. It's that simple. When I look at you, my unconscious, knowing that I'm going to step inside you, can very quickly build a pattern of who and what you are, such that when I step inside you, it already has constructed what's going to happen. Once I'm inside you, I'm modeling you, or mirroring you so completely and so powerfully that the results can be startling both for you and for the person that this is being done with.

You might ask, is this real? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. It's a mental construct that I create in my mind. I make up that I am in your body looking out at the world through your eyes.

This is one of the fastest ways of gaining rapport I have ever seen or used and specifically when we're working with the affluent, if say, we are not as wealthy as we expect we will be yet, this is a really powerful simulation.

If we assume that there is a finite number of patterns that exist, and if we chunk up a little bit, go to a bigger level, we can say, for example, there are twelve astrological signs. There are seven major personality types, depending on the system that you're working with. There are all sorts of different classification systems that will seek to limit the number of possible combinations.

This is a construct. We are constructing an image. Will it be accurate? Not exactly, but that's okay, because if we're in front of them, and we're hearing them and we're seeing them, and if they're moving, we keep changing our construct until it's identical to what they are, so for every minute, every second that goes by, ours gets better, and more complete and more powerful, and we're locking right in to that person.

When you step in, you want to leave yourself behind and see through their eyes. When you do this, it establishes rapport at a very, very profound and deep level. Once you're in them, you've really moved along the process of rapport, and you've moved it along because you're so completely identifying with all of their behaviors, and all of who they are.

Try making this more tangible by "feeling" what their clothes feel like or if the person is of the opposite gender, feel what that feels like and maybe take on a few of those characteristics.

What are their physical characteristics? How does it feel to have those characteristics? Notice when you step into the other person, where you feel the connection to them. Do you feel the connection in your stomach, in your feet, in your hands, in your chest, in your head? Where do you feel the connection? By asking yourself these questions you'll deepen the rapport.

Keep this in mind before you do this: if the person is physically sick, mentally ill, or if you have the intuition that they might not be a savory character, do not jump into them. This can be hard to shake off and may stick with you in an unpleasant way.

This is a powerful exercise and even if you're not tremendously in touch with "energy", you can still use this to your advantage in persuasion.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent prospects using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques. Click here to get your own unique version of this article.

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